How to deal

Sometimes I think I make a bigger deal out of things in my head than they really are going to be.  I'm the type of person that tries to anticipate the outcomes of situations before they happen.  Sometimes I even prep with a little role playing in my head.  Or out loud when I'm alone in my car.  I'm sure that looks really weird to the people driving around me.  Maybe they think I'm just going along with whatever is on my radio.  But I digress.

I'm a planner.  I believe a good offense is the best defense.  I like to have control of things and feel like I can control my reaction to situations if I have a dialogue in my head first.  The problem with this is that sometimes I get so worked up about the situation that I can't even broach it to those around me.  I have all the arguments, discussions, responses, and outcomes mapped out.  And usually nothing has happened yet!  And it may not ever happen.

The thing is, I should take a hint from various twelve-step programs and just, as they say, "let go and let God."  The more I relax and let things happen as the may, the easier it will be for me to go with the flow and just accept what life throws at me.  I can't control other people.  I will never be able to fully anticipate what they might do or say to me.  But I can grow stronger in myself and know that what they do is not a reflection on me, necessarily, but a reflection on how they see and feel about themselves.  I am strong and secure in myself, and the more I depend upon my Heavenly Father, the stronger and more secure I become.  I know me.  And knowing that will help me catch what the world tosses and be able to respond accordingly and appropriately.  Without having crazy role playing sessions in my head.